I’ve decided to push the vote on the health care bill even though we don’t have the votes, and this is critical legislation that will set the tone for future legislation. I think it’s totally worth shoving through because I AM THE PRESIDENT, NOT YOU. Now that is what you call negotiating!
Everyone needs to just CALM DOWN about me defunding all these departments. If people don’t understand by now that minorities, the poor, the sick, the elderly, students, the arts and the environment just don’t matter, whelp I guess they never will!
All secret Muslims are Hawaiian hellooooooooooooooooo. Only explanation for this ruling folks. So obvious.
People take things so literally! What I SAID was that I’d been wiretapped. What I MEANT was that I don’t like black people.
I’m going to need to do a “full court press” on the new health care plan, even though everyone hates it, because basketball metaphors are for people with big hands, understand?!?
Evidence, schmevidence, It is soooooo obvious I’ve been WIRETAPPED! I hope I haven’t had any entertainment reporters up there lately…
Did you hear about my new Immigration Task Force?! It’s tremendous. Oh sure, some may point to the “actual” crime happening in this country, however an undocumented immigrant forgot the guac on my combo plate once and now THEY ALL MUST GO.
Tonight I address Congress. It will be an opportunity for me to discuss policy, a chance for me to call on both parties for bipartisan support, and to appeal to the people of this country to unify.
HAHA just kidding. I’m going to talk about MEEEEEEEEEEE.
Diary, healthcare legislation is like, super hard. Who knew?